A tearful confession

Something has happened to me in the last, oh I don’t know, year?  Maybe two?  Something in me has shifted.  Somehow I have become this person who cries.  All the time.  At completely and utterly ridiculous times.

Yes, there are the meaningful times.  Every time one of the ladies from Mary’s Place tells her story of overcoming trails and tragedy, I cry.  Every time one of our ladies gets good news, I tear up.  That is good crying.  Happy crying.  And I cry every time I’m in an airport saying goodbye to my fiance (which is a lot!).  I cry when I miss him, or don’t get to talk to him enough.  That is justified crying.  It’s sad-I-miss-you crying.

Sometimes I cry when I read an especially moving post, or see pictures of my godson growing up knowing I’m missing it (have I mentioned that I have the world’s CUTEST godson??).  And while there is an undercurrent to be understood at missing out on that precious boy’s life, crying at pictures of him blowing kisses is a bit much.  And it doesn’t stop there.  Because somehow, I’ve become the girl that cries while watching T.V.  I have NEVER been that girl.  I despise romance novels and movies.  I was the girl that didn’t cry watching Titanic.  Now though?  I cry at everything!  I mean, seriously y’all, everything.

I started noticing it when the most recent string of commercials came on promoting the 3 Day Race for the Cure. (4th video down, when she says, “This is my do-more.  It absolutely is.”  I swear, it gets me every time!)  What I noticed was that I cried every time I saw that commercial.  Which was a lot.  Because there was a month that the stations ran it about 40 times a day.

Then there were the clips for this season’s Biggest Loser, where Abby talks about losing her family in a car accident.  And it is horrifically sad, and I cry with her every time she’s on that T.V. screen.

But tonight, ohhhhh, tonight took the cake.  An AT&T commercial did me in.   You know the one where the little girl is putting up posters looking for her lost dog.  And the college kid takes a picture of the poster on his cell phone and sends it around campus via text.  Then the little girl comes home and there’s the college kid, releasing her puppy back to the little girl.  “Sarah!  You’re home!”  Little girl and puppy go running toward each other!  Wait, you aren’t crying!?  Heartless I tell you, heartless dry-eyed souls you are!

What is wrong with me?  How do I fix this?  How do I go back to the girl that only cries when it is appropriate?  If I can’t figure it out, I may have to get rid of my T.V.

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Because I am too incoherent to make a full post, bullet points:

• Next weekend I am flying out to Atlanta to go wedding dress shopping with my mom, my sister and my aunts.  While I am excited about going dress shopping with family, I am exhausted.  You all probably have a vague I idea of how much I’ve been traveling recently.  Pretty much flying somewhere (on the east coast) once a month.  And I love that I am able to do all this traveling, I really am.  But I’m tired.  But yes, dress shopping.  Very good.
• Tomorrow is our big fundraiser for Mary’s Place.  Our 5th Annual Hats and Tea Fashion Show and Silent Auction.  It is going to be a great event, and I am really excited.  But again, tired.  Down to my bones exhausted.  We spent all day setting up, coordinating table clothes, setting tables – you know, all the fun stuff.  I am ready for tomorrow.  It will be a lot of fun, I’m sure, but it will also be nice to be on the back end of this one.
• I drank a coke today.  It was a moment of desperation.   I had not had coffee all day, and there was no prospect of coffee in the near future.  I needed caffeine, otherwise I would be crashing hard with a blinding headache soon.  So I had a coke.  And it tasted like being 12 at my grandmother’s house; drinking coke-a-cola out of a real glass with ice.  Ahhhh.  Until tonight.  When my kidneys starting hurting.  Seriously.  This is why I gave up sodas 6 years ago.  No good.
• Speaking of coffee.  I had a major coffee catastrophe yesterday.   I have dubbed it the Great Coffee Mishap of 2009.  I was making coffee in the office, not an unusual occurrence, when I noticed that the coffee was not going into the pot, but rather, alllll over the shelf and the floor.  So, I turned the maker off and went to empty the filter.  (you should also know that I just wrote “folder” instead of “filter” – like I said, incoherant.)  At that point, the coffee/filter exploded.  All over the wall.  All over the fridge.  Even more all over the floor.  It took me 20 minutes to clean up.  As I started to make a new pot, I stopped myself.  “What the hell am I doing?  I live in Seattle!!”  So I went around the corner and got a lovely cup of coffee.  One of the perks of living in the land o’coffee.
• Have you seen the commercial for the classic, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”?   They have Charlie Brown rapping.  This leaves me slightly confused and sad.  Charlie Brown should not rap.

That’s all for tonight folks.  Goodnight.

Making it public

For months I’ve been hinting at the fact that Kris may be moving out to Seattle at the end of the year.  Well, it is no longer just a hope or a dream.  It’s official:  Kris is moving to Seattle at the end of the year!!

It has actually been official for about a month, but I wasn’t allowed to “officially” say anything in a public domain until after he had announced it at work.  His fellow managers have known for a couple of weeks, and he did an official announcement at work yesterday.  So now everyone knows!  My man is moving out to Seattle!!  I could not be more EXCITED than I am right now.  That’s not true – I will be WAY more excited when he actually gets out here! 🙂

It has been a long road, and too many years of separation.  But we’ve made it this far, and I know we’ll make it these last two months.  It will be beyond wonderful to have him here in this city that I just adore.  AND that means he’ll get to be here for all the fun wedding planning activities!  hehe

*this is me, doing a happy jig*

One Year Ago

My toenail fell off today.  I was putting on my shoes this morning, and looked down, and there it was, hanging half off.  Since I was running late for work this morning (what’s new), I put a band aid on it and headed off to work.  Band aids fix everything, right?  When I got home, I took a good look at it, and sure enough, it was ready to come off.  Finally.  I mean, it has only been, what?  Ten months?  Remember that? Ten months ago, at the butt-crack before dawn, I was pulling 15 months worth of luggage off the elevator and directly into my toe.  I spent my time in Japan and California limping around with a broken toe.  I assumed the toenail would fall off, but it never did.  Until today.  Let the healing begin.

Taking care of that toenail was an odd bit of final closure to my time overseas.  It is the final, tangible bit of Asia that was left on me.  I used to be able to look down at my foot, see that disgusting, bloodied toe, and laugh thinking about hobbling around Japan.  It would remind me of that drasted elevator in my apartment building.

As much as I love my life in Seattle, I miss my life in Hong Kong.  A lot actually.  More than I thought I would.  I could not be happier with where I am right now – where I work, preparing for Kris to move to Seattle, getting married….my life is very very good.  But I miss my friends in Hong Kong.  My sweet little church.  The wonderful ladies of Bethune House and The Mission.  I miss the food.  Good Lord I miss the food!!   The adventure of living and surviving overseas was a good fit for me.  It is something I still crave – that sense of adventure.  Of learning to navigate around in a foreign language.

I think back to where I was a year ago today.  I look back on my blog, and this is where I was.  Amazing what can change in a year.  I will always look back on my time in Asia as more than just an experience.  It really was shaping for me.  Who I am today is due in part because of all that I learned in my 15 months in Asia.  Those journeys, those experiences, the stories, the faces – they will never leave me.  My work and my focus may have shifted, but my love for the people, my desire to help in the struggle, the desire to stand alongside those fighting for justice and equality – that will never fade.

All this, from a toe nail.  Funny what makes us remember, huh?

Cooking in the Fall

One of my favorite things about the Fall is the food!  In particular, soup.  I just adore soup.  I could eat a different variety pretty much every night of the week.  And in fact, I have done so.  (well, I’ve stuck with two varieties, but I have had soup for dinner every night for the last 6 nights!)  On a chilly, blustery day, there is nothing better than a big bowl of steaming soup.  Yum!

This week, my friends Mary, Anna and I made White Chicken Chili.  So easy and so tasty!

Directions:  We used this recipe.  We left out the jalapeno peppers, doubled the amount of lime juice, and used an entire rotisserie chicken.  I would also add a dash of pepper.  Serve with a dollop of sour cream (“Start with a smile and a dollop, of Daisy.”), monterey jack cheese and chips.

End result:

YUM!

Currently:

Borrowed from Heather

Current Books: Well, I went through a slew of heavy books in the last month.  They were all very good, but depressing.  So I need something absolutely ridiculous.  Hence, Christopher Moore’s Island of the Sequined Love Nun. Perfect.  Having just finished that, I’ve moved back into not so light or funny Ron Hall’s Same Kind of Different as Me and Toni Morrison’s Sula.

Current Playlist: Ingrid Michaelson (I get to see her in concert on Tuesday!!), Sara Watkins, Missy Higgins, Derek Webb

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: International Delight’s French Vanilla creamer.  So much sugar and so not anything close to organic or local.  But so tasty.

Current Color: Greens – of the subdued fall variety

Current Fetish: ??

Current Food: Homemade peanut sauce.  I probably make it once a week. Yum!

Current Drink: Need I even say it?  Coffee.  Always coffee.

Current Favorite Favorite: Days that start out downright cold, and end up as sunny afternoons with a hint of crispness.  I love Fall!

Current Wishlist: For the end of the year to be here already!!

Current Needs: New tennis/running shoes.

Current Trimph: Two days in a row riding to work on a bike!

Current Bane-of-my-Existence: Spiders in my apartment!!  I must kill at least 10 a day!  BLEH!!

Current Celebrity Crush: errrr….none?

Current Indulgence: Spending a full day off on the couch with Amigo (the super sweet puppy I was dog-sitting last week) and a book.

Current Mood: Excited but exhausted.

Current #1 Blessing: My boss.  She is sincerely the most amazing woman that I have ever met, and she inspires me to do good in the world.

Current Slang or Saying: Well, I don’t have anything.  But Kris has decided to try to pursue a type of reverse slang that he is really hoping will catch on.  Whenever someone says, “What’s up dog?” he will respond, “Not much cat.” or “That’s so dope.” with “That’s so methadone.”  or “How’s it going bro?” with “Pretty good uncle.” Yeeaaaaahhh…my fiance is a dork.

Current Outfit: Blue jeans and a tshirt.  Same old same old.   I’m fighting against closed-toe shoes.  Its almost, but not quite, too chilly for sandals, which makes me SO sad!

Current Link:  Just plain silly

Women in Black Vigil

Every time a homeless person is found dead outside or dies by violence in King County, WHEEL (a homeless women’s organizing effort) and the Church of Mary Magdalene (an ecumenical day ministry) mobilize for our silent witnessing vigil called Women in Black.

On Wednesday, October 7th, we will stand for three new homeless deaths.  The people we will honor and remember are:

• Michael Farr, 39, who died of undetermined cause at Olive Way and 6th Ave on September 8th ,
• Daniel Blake Carson, 49, who was found dead of natural causes in a warehouse in Tukwila on September 13th.

We also want to dedicate this vigil to the memory of our friend, Al Farr, who died last month in this outdoor shelter community.

At least 32 people have died outdoor/violent deaths in Seattle already this year.  Women in Black are very concerned about all of these deaths, the horrible causes of death (suicide, being run over by cars and trains, murder) and the lack of available shelter.  Without shelter and loving community, people die.  This is exactly why Nickelsville and other day/night shelters are so desperately needed.

(Taken from the Women in Black press release)