The End of an Era

So tonight I learned that the restaurant that I worked at while in seminary, Tony Roma’s, closed down.  While I’m not surprised, I still find myself a little shocked.  After all, amidst all of its dysfunction (and oh there was plenty!), it was a place that holds a lot of memories for me.  I’d love to share a few:

*First, and most importantly, it is where I met my husband.  But funny story that many of you may not know.  When I first met Kris, I didn’t like him all that much!  He got on my last nerve, and seemed to enjoy doing so!  But he eventually wore me down (or as Kris likes to say, I started to realize that being an asshole was a part of his manly charm! ha!), and a friendship slowly developed into dating and well…..

*I remember the day I interviewed.  My friend Matt’s roommate Rudy had mentioned that they were hiring where he worked.  For some odd reason when I moved to KY I was determined to work in a restaurant – I thought it would be fun! ha!  So, I go in to interview with Dena, and she asked how I heard about the job.  I said that Rudy had recommended it to me, since Matt had told me Rudy would get a $50 bonus for bringing in new people.  At that moment, Rudy happened to walk by, hearing his name.  He looked at me, totally confused…we had never even met and there I was, using his name in vain!  Rudy, and his wife Carrie, went on to become good friends of mine – both in the restaurant and at seminary.  I am so grateful for their listening ears all those years!

<—-out with Carrie, Kyle, Ricco and Rudy

*Whenever a beloved server decided to move on, their last night was marked by getting “trashed” – literally.  BBQ sauce, whipped cream, food scraps, soda – nothing was off limits.  When my friend Renee left, she was doused in liquid smoke!  That is a smell that just doesn’t go away after 10 showers!  Another time, I can’t remember who was leaving, but I do remember two of the guys dressing up in full on chicken suits, running in after we had closed, “kidnapping” the guy and taking him outside and throwing him in the lake!  We had odd ways of showing our love.

<— the night I got “trashed”

*Roma’s produced many dear friendships.  Good girlfriends: Stacy – who could always make me laugh; Renee who pulled me out of my social shell and helped me just have fun; Tabby – who always listened and gave the best advice – especially on those loooong Monday mornings!  Good guy friends: Ricco – wo loved to cook for me (or anyone really) and always reminded me that faith was paramount to all; and Kyle – who always beat me at the crossword, and helped open my mind to think in different ways.

<—Stacy and Tabby

*And I can’t go any further without mentioning the one friend who meant so much to me during my four years at Roma’s.  He started off as shy host, and turned in to one of my best friends.  Nate was my roommate for over three years.  Two dogs, two houses, and countless late night conversations on everything from faith to love to traveling solidified our friendship.  We bonded over Friends – and watch the entire series in succession.  We took road trips, teased each other over bad dates, and comforted one another’s broken hearts.  He was the first person to know that Kris and I were dating (literally heard it with a glass pressed up against the wall!) and he stood at our wedding and read a poem.  If my time at Roma’s did nothing else for me – it brought my best friend.

<—- Nate and I at Kyle’s wedding

*On a lighter note – there were of course parties.  Oh what fun we had!  We loved to celebrate pretty much anything.  Birthdays, holidays, a Kentucky win (basketball of course – the football team never won while I lived there!) My favorite party has to be the surprise going away party.  Stacy and Tabby did such a good job acting as a cover.  They took me to Renee and Kristen’s house where I was surprised by about 50 of my closest Roma’s friends – all who had come to bid me adieu before I left for Hong Kong.  It was one of the sweetest, most generous things ever – and I loved every minute of that party!

<— about half the crew at my going away party!

*Its hard to talk about Roma’s without talking about Trumps.  I think it is pretty safe to say that at least 2 staff members from Roma’s were there every night.  I know I accounted for that at least two or three times a week.  It was the place to go after work, especially on the weekends, to have a drink, shoot a game of pool, and just relax and get to know your co-workers better.  The great bartenders there became friends as well – they knew us all by name and drink!  Every time we were there, at some point I’d look over, and there would be Nate, digging through my purse, hunting for quarters for the next game of pool.

*The radio that played in the restaurant was controlled by the managers.  Justin loved Christmas music.  Now, if you know me at all, you know my biggest pet peeve is Christmas music before Thanksgiving.  Grates my nerves.  Justin was the opposite!  He would play Christmas music the week of Halloween – I think just to piss people off! haha!

*On a practical level – working as a server and a bartender helped me through seminary.  Working full time and going to school full-time, then part time, I was able to leave with a Masters degree and no student loans or school debt!  I account that to the many, many, many hours spent in that building!

*Working there also taught me skills that I continue to carry with me in my work now: patience in stressful and busy situations; multi-tasking; being graceful even to those who don’t know how to return the favor; and every shifts ends best with a drink and a bowl of potato soup!

I am incredibly grateful for my four years at Roma’s.  The people and my experiences there shaped me into who I am today.  I accredit a lot to that place.  So raise a glass to a time gone by – to Tony Roma’s.

Remembering Sally

Today was a sad day.

Just shy of three years ago, a woman walked through the doors of Mary’s Place looking for a coat.   She was quiet, overwhelmed, scared, but determined to get back on her feet.  After a nasty fall on an icy sidewalk, Sally found herself hospitalized, facing multiple procedures that drained her savings, her 401K, and eventually left her homeless.  Released from the hospital to the streets, she took an even harder fall, into a deep cycle of depression.   But within months of walking through our doors, Sally started to rebuild her strength, her self-esteem and her life.

She moved into a community house – 10 roommates, but a door of her own.  She started volunteering at Mary’s Place as a way to give back.   Sally started by working in Bon Mary’s, our incentive store.  Every Tuesday and Thursday she was there, setting up and running the store, helping women choose the perfect scarf or just the right perfume to spend their hard earned points on.  On non-shopping days, Sally could be found organizing the storage room, or creating incredibly beautiful gift baskets to be sold on the store.  I mean, seriously beautiful baskets.  People often commented that she should work for a boutique, the way she thoughtfully and artfully put items together was a true skill.

Slowly, Sally started teaching other women how to run and organize the store.  As she did so, she sifted into a role as Donations Queen.  She would stand at the door and greet every donor with the same genuine smile.   She kept the donations organized – a never ending task! – and made sure that everyone who came to us – a donor or a receiver, felt loved and appreciated.

A true early bird, Sally spent the early morning hours on Craigslist, trying to be the first to claim items she knew women would need as they moved into housing.  She would share the stories of the women of Mary’s Place, as well as her own, to these Craigslist sellers, and by the time the item was dropped off, they were our new best friends.  Many of our current donors and volunteers are here soley because of the relationship that Sally started with a simple email.

When Marty and I grieved at the number of women and children flooding our doors, homeless, we wanted to reach out to the faith community to start an emergency family shelter.  While we spun our big plans, Sally diligently worked the phones every day until we had 17 congregations who had stepped up to host a rotating family shelter.  One of those churches broke off from the rotating model to host a year round two-parent family shelter!   When she would call a church and get a “no” she would simply smile and say, “Well, they said no this time.  But I’ll eventually get them to say yes!  How could they not?”  Because of Sally’s compassion and passion, we have been able to house over 30 families in 9 months.

Always incredibly cheerful, Sally had a smile for everyone she met.  Her honesty was endearing and refreshing.  And her drive to change the perception of homeless women was unending.  Sally spoke every chance she could get about her own story – breaking down preconceived notions and myths about homelessness.  She welcomed in the lost, the lonely and the hurting, and connected them to resources, community and hope.

Two weeks ago, sitting in her chair, in her own apartment, Sally passed away after two months of battling various illnesses.  The shock that has followed her passing has brought many stories to surface.  Today, at her memorial, in a room packed with people who loved her dearly, women got up, one after another, to share the story of how Sally touched their lives.  Each person lit a candle in her honor, and together, we bid her body farewell.

But we know, we are confidant, that Sally has not left us.  Her legacy to Mary’s Place can be found in the mother’s relief when she finds a shelter bed tonight; and in the woman’s dignity when she shops for makeup on Bon Mary’s; and in all of those who look at homelessness with a little more compassion.

I thank you Sally, for the gifts you have given.  You will be greatly missed.

A St. Patrick’s Day Celebration

Today, every one is wearing something green.  People are celebrating any hint of Irish they have in them with green beer, parades and Shake-Your-Shamrock parties.  And that is fun and great and all.  But today, it is my honor to celebrate something more.

Today I am celebrating selflessness, compassion, creativity, un-ending love, grace, beauty, laughter and dedication.

I am celebrating memories of waking up on this famous holiday to little green leprechaun feet taped to the floor, right outside my door.  Feet that would lead me to the breakfast table, where I would find green eggs and ham, green milk and gold-wrapped chocolate coins. It was always a day full of wonder, excitement and lots of green.  Even when the focus should have been focused on her she made the day, really every day, about fun and laughter.

I am celebrating someone who isn’t afraid to get down and silly.  This woman has an uncanny knack at making babies giggle.  Children of all ages love her silly jokes and warm hugs.  The way she reads a children’s book is nothing short of captivating.

I am celebrating the dedication it took to raise three children, all with different needs, passions and challenges.  Yet each of us knew exactly how much we were loved and valued.  In our different paths through life, she has stood by each of us, cheering us on, encouraging us and picking us up when we stumbled.  In my own journey, one that has led me far from her nest, she has never once tried to steer me anywhere other than where my dreams have led me.

I am celebrating being raised in a home a faith and love – where every day we were told we were loved.  Every day we were provided for.  Every day we were challenged to be the best we could be.  A home where love wasn’t just taught, it was modeled.  Where faith wasn’t just a Sunday dress, it was a way of life.

I am celebrating a woman who called our Saturday errands, “Adventure time” – turning mundane tasks into scavenger hunts.   Someone who helped foster our creativity by expressing her own.   When a story was written or a song sung or a masterpiece was drawn,  it drew instant and sincere praise.  When I was first learning to play guitar, I thought my dad would be the obvious choice to learn from.  One day, sitting in my room, on the floor, frustrated with my lack of skill, she walked in, sat down, and strummed a few easy chords.  I had never known she could play, but she was willing to share with me, teach me, coach me, encourage me not to to be too hard on myself.

I am celebrating someone whose selfless acts of love have carried our family through hard times.  When my dad’s father passed away, my mother was there for the family, opening her home, her kitchen and her arms – even though she had just had major surgery.  When her own parents passed, mere weeks apart, she was there, coordinating details, making sure everyone could be home to celebrate their lives.  She has spent countless hours caring for the people and things that we were left behind.

I am celebrating someone who taught me that tears are healing, and strength is found in our vulnerability.  Whatever trials I have faced or put myself through, I have always known who I can depend on to listen, to give advice, to pray for me.

Yes, today I am celebrating St. Patrick’s Day.  I am wearing my green.  I am eating anything remotely connected to Irish cuisine.  And I am always on the hunt for that pot ‘o gold.  But I am also celebrating my most favorite of the Irish:

Today, I am celebrating my mother.

Happy Birthday Mom!   I love you!

Joy

When people learn what I do for a living, the most common response I get is, “Oh, that has to be so hard.  I just imagine there is so much sadness.”  And yes, there is a lot of sorrow.  A lot of grief.  Anger.  Depression.  Frustration.  Pain.  Being a mother is hard enough.  Being homeless to boot is just plain cruel.  The mothers I work with every day experience all of these emotions and more.  There are days that consist of wiping away tears, calming fears and trying to offer something to soothe their anxiety.  Where will I sleep tonight?  How will I clothe my child?  What if someone takes her away because I can’t provide a roof over her head?  Yes, it can be a sad job sometimes.

But more than fear, more that sorrow, I see hope and joy in my job.  I see mothers struggling to maintain their composure in front of their children, finding strength in their own soothing words.  I see women sharing resources with one another, encouraging each other to keep trying, to not give up.  I see mommies kiss little heads, breathing in the sweetness, and turning that breath into courage to face the next obstacle.  I see families bonding together, emerging strong and wiser, together.

This week I got to share an immense joy with a mother of 5.  Having fled a violent home with only one bag of diapers and the clothes on their backs, this mother never gave up.  When options were slim, when resources were dry, her hope never wavered.  Every day she would say to me, “Well, if not today, then soon.  Soon this will all come together.”  For just over a month they faced the reality of being homeless, depending on others for help with food, clothing, bus tickets.  When she found an apartment that would rent to her, there was a glimpse of joy, only to be dashed by lack of sufficient funds to move-in.  The end of the year is a hard time to ask for financial help from social services.  Everyone’s budgets had run dry.  “Try us again after the New Year.  Maybe we can help then.”  Over and over, this mother never gave up, calling dozens of places a day, trying to find help.  After two weeks, the landlord decided to rent to someone else.  “Well,” she said to me, “looks like today is not the day.  But soon.  Soon it will all come together.”

On Tuesday, the good news came.  A request was heard, and funding came in to pay her entire deposit (when she had only asked for half).  A call to the landlord and she learned that the previous tenants had not passed the background check.  The place was hers if she still wanted it.  She could move in that very day.  As I called to share the good news, I could literally feel her exuberant joy flooding through the phone.  “Its here!  Its here!  Our day is here!  Our day has finally arrived!” she shouted into the phone.

No more fear.  No more anxiety.  No more frustration.  At least not for this moment.  No friends, this moment was made for joy.  For it had all come together.

My favorite seaon of the year….

Just another reason to love Football Season:

Don’t worry – she’ll have a Florida State outfit before the season is over

:)

World!  Meet….Burke Anne!

 

My beautiful niece was born today!!  7 pounds even, 20 inches long and lungs in tact!

I am in love already!

Surprise!!

So, on Facebook, I announced that I was super excited to share in a surprise with a certain someone.  I wanted to wait till that certain someone actually received their surprise before I posted pictures!  And now that she has, I can share…..

WHO! WHO!  It’s a Birthday surprise for Heather T.!  My dear friend has a new found love of owls.  I have a new found love of cakeballs!  It was a match made in heaven.

(recipe from the oh so fabulous Bakerella!)

First, you gather all of your supplies, including the fabulous Cake Pops book (which I received for Christmas from my fabulous husband!)….

Then, you make a batch of cake balls.  Any cake mix will do.  I used Trader Joe’s Madagascar Vanilla Bean.  Bake the cake, crumble it, and then get your hands dirty!  Mix a can of icing with the cake crumbles, and shape into oblong balls.  Like so:

Then, add lollipop sticks to the bottom, thus evolving these little fellas from cake balls, to cake pops!  Adhere chocolate chips for ears with candy mold.  Then dip the whole body in the candy mold.  Place in a styrofoam block to set.  Like so:

After they have dried, you add little bitty feet!  The book called for little pink stars, but I thought the hearts made for super cute feet, and the rest of the sprinkles will certainly be used later this month!!  See, cute feet:

Then, you attach their little wings  (shhhh, it is really M&Ms).  Just let it be known, I bought one of those mega bags of M&Ms, just for the brown ones to make wings.  This was the grand total brown M&Ms in the whole bag!  And no!  I didn’t eat any!  I only ate the blues, greens, reds and yellows!  But, I found the orange works just fine for wings!  Be sure to use a lot of candy mold, M&Ms are heavy!!

And what makes a owl so cute?  Why, their candy bracelet eyes of course!  The book called for white, but again, I search through many a candy necklace, and didn’t find any white candy pieces!  But my friend Anna assured me that yellow was more authentic anyway, especially if they were British Long-Ear Owls.  Which I guess they are!

Then, add a tiny orange sprinkle for the nose and tada!  You are done!

*side note:  Can I just say that I LOVE my little neighborhood?  There is a store called Cookies that has a whole wall of specialty sprinkles!  So my owl noses?  Really tiny little carrots!

They are ready to be bagged and shipped!

Happy Birthday Heather!!!!

Holiday Baking

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!  Time for holiday baking and Christmas parties galore!

The Christmas Party Kris and I were invited to last night encouraged the guests to bring festive baked goods.  So I took a cue from my favorite baking diva and decided to make Reindeer themed cake balls.  While they didn’t look as perfect as the inspiration, I think they came out pretty stinkin’ cute.  What do you think?

It is a crowd of Rudolphs!

Like I said, not perfect, but still super cute!

This is what happens when you ask Kris to help out.  He makes angry reindeer.  Why so angry Rudolph?

Fall in the Pacific Northwest

Along with all the incredible, burning colors, the smells of hot cocco and fireplaces in use for the first time this season, Fall brings to Seattle visitors!  Here are a few pictures of my joyous Fall thus far!

Back in October, Kris and I drove down to Portland one day.  My aunt and uncle had flown out for the week to visit their daughter, my cousin Jamie.  I sadly didn’t get any pictures of us together.  Kris and I had a great time walking around downtown Portland.  We found an incredible bookstore that was 5 stories high and took up two city blocks.  So awesome.  It was great to see family out here.

Jamie had a break from Seminary and came up to spend it in Seattle.  I got to spend an evening with her and Will.  It was SO good to catch up with good friends!!  Jamie was our wedding photographer, and was in my mission class.   Always love spending time with her.  That makes two YAMs who have come to visit Seattle.  Only 12 more to go!

One day while I was at work, Kris got this great shot of the Olympic Mountains, overlooking the Ballard neighborhood.  The Fall in the Pacific Northwest can bring some incredibly beautiful, clear days!

 

A shot of downtown Seattle, with Mt. Rainier in the background.  Every time the mountains are out, it never ceases to catch me off guard.  I feel so blessed to live in such a beautiful city!!

Kris and I took a walk around the Queen Anne neighborhood one unusually warm day.  The colors were so beautiful!

My unexpected joy this month was getting to see my beautiful cousin Mary Grace.  She and her husband Andrew had been up North visiting his brother, and were flying out of Seattle.  I got to have dinner with them and their incredibly precious 6 month old Owen.   Back at the hotel, I got to see his latest accomplishment – crawling!  I haven’t seen Mary Grace or Andrew since last Christmas, and this was a great surprise!!

 

In a couple of weeks, good friends from Kentucky, Nate and Stacy, are coming for a long weekend.  Then my mom and dad are coming out for Thanksgiving!  Fall has been a fun time so far, and I expect it to only get better!

Quote of the Day

Three of the ladies from Mary’s Place were helping out after closing today, washing dishes in the kitchen.  Three good friends working hard, scrubbing and cleaning.  One washed.  One dried.  And the third lady?  Well, she was keeping beat on an old cookie tin.  They took the idea of “Whistle while you work,” and did one better.  They were filling the room with beautiful spirituals.  Deep, soulful songs.  Their voices resonated off the walls and into the community room.  I wandered in to the kitchen to see quite a scene.  Two ladies working hard at the sink, while the other lady was working hard on keeping beat on that tin.

It was actually a pretty moving thing to watch.  Three women keeping themselves both entertained and uplifted while working.

And as I left to go back to lining chairs, I heard the dishwasher say, “Okay, enough with keeping beat Emily.  Now come dry some dishes!”