I am sure that you all have a thing. An object. A something or other. That if you had, would make your home/office/car/life more easy/happy/complete. You know that this thing exists. Maybe you have seen one before. Maybe you know someone who possesses such a thing. But you don’t. You search high and low for this thing, but you just can’t find one. Know the feeling that I am talking about?
My thing? There is one thing that I crave that is so simple, yet so incredibly frustrating to find. And you will probably laugh at me, but seriously – I cannot, for the life of me, find a clear, glass butter dish with a handle. Can. Not. I have been to every kitchen store within a 20 mile radius to no avail. It has become a goal, a competition almost, between my husband and I: Who can find a clear, glass butter dish with a handle first. We find every combination of the object but the one I want.
It is totally silly, I know. But in a way, it is a relief to be able to put my efforts into searching for something tangible. In my line of work, there are a lot of things that I yearn for daily. There are things that I desire so deeply for the women I work with. There are things that I wish I could give them, teach them, take from them, fix for them. But I can’t. And I know this. But it doesn’t take the desire away. I am always searching for the best way to give them what they need most. And I know that one of the deepest desires of the women I serve is not for any one particular thing, but for acceptance. Something so intangible. Yet so simple. I can give them my acceptance, but it isn’t enough. I want to give them the acceptance of our community, our city, our country. But as hard as I search, as hard as I try, that is just something I cannot do alone.
So I think that is one reason why I have become obsessive over finding this butter dish, as silly as it may seem. It is something tangible that I know exists. It is something I can eventually find. Unlike the goal of finding full acceptance, something that I know I can strive for every day, with my full heart and efforts, and yet still not fully achieve.
I don’t know what I’ll do when I one day find that clear, glass butter dish with a handle. I think that there will be a moment of joy, a sense of mission-completed. But I know that there will also probably be a sense of sorrow, knowing that my mission will never really be complete.
So tell me, silly or serious, what is your thing?
